My Crazy Mum

Again I know I should have posted this earlier but starting my new job and all took its toll.

I know everyone thinks that there parents can be/are embarassing. Most of the time my parents are actually alright. I am about to recount an incident though that I believe takes the cake.

This happened this last week while the sun was shining and London was basking in a rare glimpse of cloudless blue sky. My mother and her bestie were having a girly day out up town and I met them after a hard days work to join them on the train home. They had very nicely bought me a coffee and a cake for the commute and once we had found a seat on the train proceeded to tell me about the fun and mischief they had gotten into in the city.

Now for anyone who isn’t aware of the unwritten rules for London Commuter public transport I will list the basics below (there are more but lets not get complicated)

No eye contact
No talking ( if necessary whisper)
No smiling at anyone
When sitting down you must not make any contact anyone (regardless how small the seats are)
No causing a scene of any kind

Basically keep as much to yourself as humanly possible. I believe that my mother managed to break nearly all of those rules in one go. Leaving me open mouthed and staring at her friend wondering what had just happened.

As mentioned earlier all 3 of us had coffee and a cake that, once the train had left the station, we happily started to tuck into while chatting about their day and what they had been doing. I went to pass the cherry from my cherry bakewell to my mother, unfortunately this fell from my hand straight to the floor and whilst trying to work out where on the floor it had landed, I noticed it…… (cue Psycho music)

My mothers had was moving towards the man in front of her. In seconds I had worked out what was going to happen and there was no way to stop it!!

Unbeknown to me as I had gone to hand mum the cherry she had reached out to take it from me. In the process dropping crumbs on the man in fronts nice suit. Stuck in a catch 22 my mum had thought do I leave them there and let him think I have just thrown crumbs over him – or – Do I break a cardinal commuter rule and brush them from his knee.

She made eye contact, smiled, brushed the crumbs away from his suit, then proceeded to continue talking loudly about the day that she had had. I couldn’t continue mouth open in shock looking between the mans knee and mums friend then mum she then burst out laughing breaking the last and final rule…. causing a scene on the train. I couldn’t help but laugh with her there was nothing else I could do because it was hilarious!! By that point none of us could see as we were crying with laughter people were looking round to see what was going on and part of me wanted the ground to open up and swallow me there and then.

On a side not if anyone can let me know who made these stupid rules up and why they exist that would be great?

Hope you got almost as much joy from reading this post as we did on the train.

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